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A  guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little perch. It  doesn't have any feet
or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh,

I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The  parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a
defective parrot."

"Holy  crap," the guy replies. "You actually
understood and answered me!"

"I  got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be
a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh  yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do
you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well,"  the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
but since you asked, I wrap my  weenie around this
wooden bar, like a little hook. You  can't see it
because of my feathers."

"Wow,"  says the guy. "You really can understand and
speak English can't you?" "Actually,  I speak both
Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence  on almost any topic: politics,
religion, sports, physics,philosophy. I'm  especially
good at ornithology.  You really ought to buy me. I'd
be a great  companion."

The  guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I
just can't afford that."


"Pssssssst,"  says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the
truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't  have any
feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the
guy an offer!"The  guy offers $20 and walks out with
the parrot.Weeks  go by. The parrot is sensational. He
has a great sense of humor,he's interesting, he's a
great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes,and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One  day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
goes, "Psssssssssssst,"and  motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not,  but it's about your wife and the postman." "What  are you
talking about?" asks the guy.

"When  the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
greeted him at the door in a  sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???"  the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?"

"Well,  then the postman came in to the house and
lifted up her nightie and began  petting her all
over," reported the parrot.

"NO!"  he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got
down on his knees and began  to kiss her all over...."

Then  the frantic guy! demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned  if I know. I got an erection and fell off  my perch!"

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